CPA

Updated: Dec 3, 2019

CPAs, I sure need your help with these stuffs:


accounting (n): the art or system of keeping and analysing financial records


accountant (n): a person skilled in accounting


account (n): (1) a statement of business transactions;

(2) a sum of money deposited in a bank and subject to withdrawal by the depositor

(3) reveals profit or loss for a given period, and the value and nature of a firm's assets, liabilities and owner’s equity

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accountable (adj.): answerable, responsible


account for: to give an explanation


on account of: because of


on no account: under no circumstances


on one’s own account: for one’s own purposes


Well, you can count on me with the lower half of the list. But, first off, please give me a chance to share my 5 or 10-cents worth about what I know regarding the upper half.


I’ll give you a heads up. This might be as incoherent (but, all being well, equally effective) as the impromptu speeches of our Philippine president as I will only throw in a piece of my brain on something I don’t exactly know but it’s definitely my business to know a great deal about it.


ACCOUNTING


This boggles every thinker. Keeping tabs on my expenses is such an ordeal that I simply forget about it without even trying. What’s more, analysing finances, even with the sharpest of minds, would take more than a cutting-edge Superman-like effort. It’s not as if I didn’t try. I did. In fact, as I write, I’ve jotted down whatever went out of my pockets for the last three days. I haven’t been doing this for quite some time now. Somehow, it brings out the “aha” moments in me knowing for sure that those pesos didn’t just disappear from my wallet.


Whether I do daily accounting or not, I usually end up, literally speaking, empty-handed. Hmmm. Figuring this art or system or whatever the heck it is, is absolutely taking its toll on my bread and butter gains. As a scapegoat, my philosopher’s mentality is telling me that money is here to be spent and saving or investing it would actually mean still spending it in the near or far future. Moreover, the old folks say that you can never take your money to the grave. To wit, Jesus states that you cannot serve both man and money.


Now, the words of Shakespeare are challenging me…to account or not to account? That is the question.


ACCOUNTANT


Hypothetically, everyone’s an accountant in his/her own right. We all take note of our expenditures may it be every day or once in a blue moon. You can categorically claim that you’re a home-based bookkeeper or auditor to say the least. You actually snoop in on the costs of everything there is at home to record, compute and examine like a house on fire.


The problem is, there is a whale of difference between having the spot-on motivation and looking at these accounts with the temperament of someone who really has the skill to get the job done objectively.


How could I be a true-blue accountant if my psyche relentlessly pushes me not to be a penny-pinching maniac against my own will, tempting me to buy things my budget can hardly handle. You can’t stop the subconscious from telling you to spend your hard-earned salary on necessities doubling up on these provisions eventually realizing that your cash is not enough to last until the next pay day.


To tell you frankly and I believe a lot of you can relate with me on this, I’m practically losing my mind with all the monthly bills to settle and needs to purchase at swelling prices. At this moment, I’m wondering if it’s actually my insufficient financial literacy at fault, the growing pains of economic inequity or to put it simply, I’m just in a job with grossly high expectations but unbelievably low net income.


No offense meant but I don’t think even the best accountants in the world can balance the assets of the middle to lower class wage earners in the Philippines. There are no resources to balance in the first place unless the debts are counted as such.


ACCOUNT


In this universe, we buy (goods), sell (goods and/or services [expertise]), then buy again in this brutal cycle called life. Our dealings rotate in this kind of orbit and in the process, we produce all sorts of accounts.


The receipts that my wife and I get when we go grocery shopping with the kids are financial records. And, I know for a fact how the VAT and E-VAT were stretched through the years ever since they came into effect. This is one of the many revenue secrets of the bureaucracy revealed to me when maturity set in.


Transitioning to the banking industry, we Filipinos are used to dried up accounts if none at all. Inasmuch as we want to save or invest more, our profits just won’t allow it. We feel terrible when we have less than what others have. Ugly truth, we exist in a society of haves and have-nots. Then, these motivational and spiritual speakers with the gift of gab enter the picture and empower us to go out of our way to share more to be blessed more. Sounds like crap to some (or for a sum) while supernatural to millions. If you believe in the truism that it’s better to give than to receive, you’ll get the drift.


If you live in the same country as mine, you might be perplexed by the survey results that the poverty level is going down, the poorest of the poor is declining while the GDP is rising to all-time highs. Whether you have a start-up or small firm, you’re a plain, old employee or one of those who sit on a desk to charm people with small and big-time talk while signing papers all day, it doesn’t take a genius to know if your account has 6-digit holes with your payslip as proof or you’ve dug up for yourself a hole 6 feet under the ground in spite of being very much alive. Hopefully, you're still breathing if this ever occurs to you.


BY ALL ACCOUNTS


This part’s going to be a bit more dramatic.


I can account for everything I wrote in this piece although it’ll take probably a billion words to convey what I essentially mean plus a trillion and one questions still remain. But, talk about the most difficult to figure out, I’d say money ranks up there with women. On account of this, women are the most likely people who possess an abundant understanding of “dough.” I’m not saying that men fail miserably in this department. Likewise, on no account that I can set the record straight because I don’t have the authentic numbers. I’m virtually speaking out of experience and observation on my own account.


So, if you want to prove me wrong on all counts, I’ll be accountable for everything that I’ve put here in fine print as given the avenue for freedom of expression by a community blog site that encourages intellectual exchanges mainly among CPAs and good-naturedly includes humble, law-abiding citizens like yours truly.

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