October 10, 2019
Ever Dearest God Almighty,
Lord God, I hope you won’t take my ponderings as a sign of insubordination. This is just a matter of using the intelligence you put inside me at birth that advanced into what it is right now.
My apologies for shaking the religious status quo but since time immemorial, your reign hasn’t been that smooth to say the least. As maturity sets in, this profound sponge of a mind that you provided me is amazingly soaking everything I can at a breakneck pace and astonishingly analysing every thought that goes through my brain cells and here is where it’s taking me.
You know Lord, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. How long has it been?
It’s been…whatchamacallit…41 years, 6 months, 16 days, 19 hours, 38 minutes, and a few seconds of earth life as of the moment.
There’s a whale of difference between seeing you and feeling your presence and obviously, I can’t say both is achievable in this world. It’s not that I’ve surrendered on my faith. I haven’t been this active in Sunday churchgoing since I was a blindly devoted teenager. That’s as far as I can remember.
No. I don’t intend to jump from one religious sect to another or totally transfer to another spiritual creed for want of a group more suitable to my personality or belief system. I really mean this despite the fact that I agree with my former co-teacher that we Catholics didn’t practically have a choice as we were baptised when we didn’t have the capacity to think on our own. I just think it’s not the clear-cut solution. Although I may prefer a more active Catholic worshipping but Bo Sanchez’s “The Feast” will suffice. Plus, I read free “Awake” magazines courtesy of the ever respectable-looking Jehova’s Witnesses who are persistently present in the streets with their stalls. I’m also into back issues of mindfulness publications that espouse meditation and other Buddhism principles which can be grabbed at affordable prices in book sales.
Apparently, I’ve been indulging in reading for the longest time now. Ever since my movie and TV addiction completely ceased. That was 2014 perhaps.
I’ve tried to open my mind wide to the possibility that not everything that comes out from the mouths of your supposedly holy representatives are genuine doctrines from heaven and some parts, if not all, of the real number one bestselling book of all time, whose statistics may well have been padded, are highly fictitious as they are subjected to various interpretations from Bible scholars and non-scholars alike.
I cringe at this thought but I can’t help but say it…what if Jesus Christ is merely based on pagan characters who were conceptualised (or born?) a thousand years even before the Virgin Mary gave birth to your proclaimed Son. I’ve researched on this and I found out that Jesus really walked the face of the earth just like dinosaurs did. But, we’re not even sure of the real face of your Son, what more the faces of those million and one Catholic saints we should know by name. What science cannot definitely fathom that only sacred zeal can accept is that Jesus died and came back to life on the third day.
Maybe that’s totally insane for scientists and philosophers but not for you, Lord.
In this way, I came to realise that everything is possible in this world. Even before the miracle of resurrection, there were other marvellous feats that Jesus performed to the bewilderment of both believers and non-believers. And, I do believe that these exploits can be duplicated by mere humans as your Son, himself, declared in John 4:12: “Very truly I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do, and in fact will do greater works than these.” (Unless, this statement falls under the fictional genre.)
It is now my ambition to explore the depths of my powers that you equally bestowed to your humble creations. If Jesus can walk on water, I’d like to be able to do that, too. If not today, someday will do. If Jesus can heal the afflicted, I seriously need that ability not only for my benefit but for my loved ones and for other people as well. I assume that you know how desperately I want to have your Son’s healing powers.
I hope you don’t mind Lord but I’ve been reading on and practising the art of mindful meditation while longing to rouse my gift of ESP (extra sensory perception) and stretching it further by eventually owning the aptitude to look into the future.
I have assimilated and internalised the likelihood that there are parallel dimensions and we are not merely living in one universe but a multiverse even before chancing upon the articles of Filipino psychic Jaime Licauco.
Dwelling on my favourite areas of psychology and philosophy, no offence Lord, but I’d like to believe that arguably, it’s either you created us and everything around us, then gave us the freewill to think, decide and act on our own with the consequences connected to how you’ve organised nature (I pray for this and another thing happens; bad guys do bad things while good and bad seem to be looking like twins nowadays) OR you created us to follow a predestined path according to your individual plans for us including when we’re going to die (I hear some people planning everything ahead and when things are starting to look up, they suddenly fall ill or get hit by a car or a heart attack…Poof! Dreams gone in a wink of an eye.) OR You’re simply a creation of our mental stimulus that we’d love to keep as a security blanket for life and against it (Since this is the age of gamers and e-sports are already part of the coming SEA Games to be hosted by the Philippines, some computer geeks or mad scientists might have come up with this idea that this world and us people are all simply running inside a program or matrix of sorts and unexpectedly vanishing [dying] means running out of life [3 lives for every character—this is how it goes in 80’s-90’s slot machines]).
Like in the business correspondences that I’ve written, I am hoping for your kindest consideration as I don’t wish to commit any blasphemy on any account. All I want is an open channel of communication with you Lord and like what atheists say, since you’re God, you must understand how a mere mortal feels.
Thank you very much and please bless us always!
Just Someone Who Wants to Get Your Attention
Done writing: October 11, 2019 (10:28 PM)