"We let go because we have to give ourselves peace. We have to let thing fly away from our grip so that it will find its right place and when are hands are empty, right things will come our way."
During this pandemic, we have a lot of things to let go, some are permanent and some are temporary. How I wish there is a standard process in letting go of things and of people. How I wish there is really an art on how to let go, because if there is, it will be easier. But do we really know how to let go or we just learn to live without those things that we once thought will always be there? Losing things and people is already hard and I know that letting go is even harder than it seems.
It was very sad to see people losing jobs that they thought they have for good until their retirement days. How do they even move on from that? When you get up each day doing a routine with a job that your heart was in and poof, all of a sudden, it is no longer there. It was also sad to see people losing their businesses. When you poured all of your heart in there and poof, it is no longer there. How do you move on from that? When you gave it your all for something great and suddenly, unexpectedly, you have lost it. Also, generally speaking, most of us lost our "old" lifestyle. We lost the days we can escape from our routines and have coffee somewhere else. We lost our travels and adventures with our loved ones. Waking up each day without those things that we once live with, live on, live about means living another day learning how to slowly let go. How long are we suppose to be losing things? And how long are we really meant to let go?
For me, let me share to you my very sad story during this pandemic. I lost my dad just five days before my birthday. It was an accident. News came to me after my usual bath before going to sleep. I even asked my daughter, Amara to call her Lolo that night but we decided to call him after I take a bath. Then, the news came. I lost him and it made me go crazy. How do I move on from that? I would still answer, "Never." How do I learn how to let go of him? It is kind of impossible and difficult.
My dad is the best man I have in my life since I was born. He let me live my dreams and supported me all the way. He sent me to great schools just to make sure I am getting the best. When I failed him, he would be the usual person to tell me that I just have to get up and try again. He never doubted me and I love him and I miss him for that reason. He will always be a missing part of me. How should I move on from this loss? I still do not know how and perhaps, maybe, I would never. If only I have more time with him, I would have given him what he wants and spent more memories with him. (Papa, I am still not used to. I still look at my phone and praying to find a missed call in there. I am still looking for your daily text messages for me and your apo. Pa, I wrote again for you.)
So, how do we let go from our losses? We have different ways of coping, I guess. Are we supposed to lose things and people? I think that is a yes. That is why what I have realized from my heartbreaking loss is that we should always try to think that anything that we are holding in our hearts may be lost the moment we sleep and wake up. And we must always put time and effort in cherishing the presence of things and people that we are currently with. Because who knows, tomorrow, it is not longer there. Never take things and people for granted because one day, you will have them lost and all you can do is cherish the memories that you had with them.
Letting go? It is not as easy as ABC. It is not even as difficult as Calculus or Accounting. It is something incomparable and sometimes, nearly impossible.