VoICES IN MY HEAD: A Vice Not-So Healthy To Have

Updated: Jun 10, 2019

FOUR SECOND rule. I want you to do it together with me. Close your eyes. Clear your mind. Just focus on your breathing.

“Don’t fret.” I always tell myself. Let the voices speak. Let them finish. Respect 'em. Allow time to pass.

LOOOONG inhale. SLOOOOW exhale. Repeat, FOUR TIMES. Hold every breath in and out for four solid seconds.

“Mama, just killed the man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead. Mama…” That's Queen’s Freddie Mercury's line which was on his mind for a time before officially putting it into a record. It has been playing on his head but he’s too ANXIOUS that his parents, particularly (and ironically, lyrics-wise) his dad, won’t take the message positively. He became really DEPRESSED and tried all the ‘happy’ stuffs you could ever imagine, so that he could sort of 'change lane'. And, as you probably know it, the rest was history (Err, it’s LEGEN-wait-for-it-DARY as HIMYM's Barney would call it.).

“I’m not sure I can do it,” says the ANXIOUS. Fighting all the chance in the world to speak, to socialize, to act, or to try. It will start very softly and then the voice becomes increasingly loud that nobody seems not to notice. Echo (echo) (echo).

Sir Elton sings ‘sorry seems to be the hardest word’ but that is Mr. Anxious’ favourite word. “Sorry for this, sorry for that.” “Sorry for not doing this and not doing that.” “Sorry for not being you.” “Sorry for being me.” “Sorry for being sorry.” “Sorry if you are sorry because of me being sorry.” Indeed, Mr. Anxious sounds so apologetic.

Then the voice slowly fades. And then, another one starts to speak. "Test, mic. Mic, test."

“I already know that,” says the DEPRESSED cloaked in a wanna-be-expert, suit-and-tie lad. Defence mechanism to govern the outcome and appear to look tough - but the truth is sitting completely at the opposite end of the spectrum. “I already know that….I will fail.” “I already know that….I am up to no good.” “I already know that….nothing’s gonna work.” “I already know that…I told you so.” “I already know that….you know.” Unfortunately, Mr. Depressed speaks pessimism at its best.

I FIGURED, it will always be, “Damn if you do, damn if you don’t.” So, where do you actually start? How? And, when? …But more importantly, why? Then begins the analysis paralysis phase. Sounds familiar, ‘eh!?

“Don’t fret.” I always tell myself. Let the voices speak. Let them finish. Respect 'em. Allow time to pass.

“Yes, you can,” somebody just whispered to my left ear. My right ear seems to numb. What do I do now?

Four second rule. Inhale, as if you’re on top of the mountain. Exhale, as if you’re blowing a candle. Repeat four times. REPEAT, every time you listen to those v(o)ices.

Earphones on, music in, volume up. “Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, life goes on, bra. La la, how life goes on.” Thanks Sir McCartney and The Beatles for the tune (and credits to Mr. Jimmy Scott for that catchphrase).

#voicesinmyhead #vicesinmyhead #mentalhealth #mentalspace #akawnthink

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